Holy Howlers

Anyone changing the course of history... is usually a student doing an examination, and the same applies to anyone inventing new Commandments or exciting new moral maxims! Here are some such amusing (and true) examples.

• God wouldn't give Moses any more tablets. (Shades of National Health Service cut backs!)
• Nobody really knows what God intended by the Ten Commandments.
• The prophet told the people to lift up their loins (aerobics?)
• He did not like to invoice the saints.
• God is in heaven, I suppose, with a flock of angels round him.
• Jeremiah was put in a pit infested with lions.
• The Bible too shares my views...
• Little did God think when He wrote the Bible, how soon the people would forget.
• There are even people who have seen things that belonged to God.
• If Jeremiah's mother had of had an abortion there would be a piece missing out of the Bible.
• Then the sheep will sit down on Abraham's bosom.
• God had a quare job to get the Children of Israel to move.
• If your doctor tries out euthanasia on you, you could always change your doctor.
• Euthanasia could come in handy, if you had no money at all.
• Hard hard it is for those who have inches to inherit the Kingdom of God!
• Drink makes you say things behind God's back.
• Even God wouldn't expect you to go to Church every Sunday.
• The Holy Spirit was hoovering over the earth.